A note to the reader from the writer.
The following blog is designed to be read in a fairly high-pitched female voice, using a rather uppercrust and slightly snobbish but really-quite-nice-at-heart british accent. Other sound effects are encouraged at your own discretion...
Now, let's have a good look at you.
Typewriter ribbon as dry as a day in the desert, but that's to be expected, I suppose. And dear oh dear, just look at that platen. No wonder you can't load paper at the moment. It's full of dust.
Type bars are straight so that's a blessing, I suppose.
And let me see... Yes, there's your serial number. Oh, my, you're a B series. Well, well, well...
Goodness me, everywhere you look, dust bunnies and dirt, dirt, dirt. Looks like you've come to us in the nick of time, Ms Christie. Let's see what we can do for you.
This is our new girl, Lizzie. She hasn't been with us long but she's a dab hand at a brush down, aren't you, dear? If I could just ask madam to remove her ribbon for us. Very good. Off you go then Lizzie...
And there is your full serial number: B1357151. We'll get our research department busy on that one right away...
Now, that's a little better but I'm afraid we've still got quite a way to go. Time to take your top off. Don't worry, Ms Christie, I can assure you, we're all professionals here. It's nothing we haven't seen before. New Girl, be a dear would you and fetch me the screwdriver...
Now, stay quite still, Ms Christie. This won't hurt a bit. First we'll just slide this carriage out of the way and...
There we go. Lefty loosey. Now the other side...
Sorry, Ms Cristie. This won't take long. Now, turn around again...
And there they are, those tricky ones at the front.
Now for the other side. Careful Girl, mind the number 4 key my dear...
There now. How does that feel, Ms Christie? Quite a relief I imagine.
Oh dear. Dust, dust, dust. Time to get to work...
What have we here?...
Hmmm. Definitely some discolouration. Hopefully nothing to worry about. We'll see how our magic formula deals with this. Girl, fetch the de-datured alcohol. I call it DNA for short. Oh, it's wonderful Ms Christie. Gentle but very effective. You'll love it, I assure you. Don't worry about the smell. That's all part of the 'magic'...
Now, let's start on those typebars.
Going well. Oops! Always the P key. I swear it's almost like they don't want to get cleaned. Not to worry...
All done for a first round. Now, let's have a look at you...
Yes, some slight improvement but I may need to consult Uncle Richard before our next session. He's quite the expert, you know...
Now, if you could just lie back a little.
Dear, oh dear, more dust.
If you'll excuse me for just a moment, Ms Christie. I have an Ebay auction to attend to. There's a rather nice refurbished Olympia SM9 I've been bidding for this week and...
Darn it. Swooped upon at the last ten seconds, the rotter...
We'll just remove this covering plate and... Oh, dear, is that rust I spy?
Ms Christie, I don't wish to alarm you but it would appear you only have three screws holding on your covering plate and... what's this I see?
Yes, it's a loose spring. I wonder what that one connects to? Oh well, always up for a challenge, aren't we Lizzie?
Oh, my. Is that the time? I'm afraid that's the end of our session for the day. We'll just get you put back together and back home you go until next time.
Thank you for joining us at TIP, TOP, TAPPERS (unless the writer changes her mind). See you again soon.
Very nice typewriter. Looks like a fine cleaning also. Too bad about the SM9. One thing about Epay---sooner or later another one comes along and sometimes even at a better price.
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